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Wednesday, June 25, 2008
We all have visions, goals and expectations to meet. We all splatter, mutter, speak and utter. Of these such things, where are the boundaries set? Imagine this okay, a rubber band you've stretched so hard but it just wouldn't snap. But you know it just would but not yet the time? That is what I'm talking about.
Everyone experiences change in the phases of their life. Well, every normal human being would. As a soon-to-be 17 yr old kid preparing for my A Levels next year, I've had those changes. Too much sometimes I might say. And as we were talking about the stretching of the rubber band earlier, yeahp, that much. I had enough of always keeping quiet to things that are sometimes said, acted or delivered overboard. I had enough of always being "Syazwan" who doesn't say things out loud. I had enough of always being discriminated against and never given that chance to withdraw something I am trying to now.
People say alot of different things about other people. People have different perceptions of other people. I love the things I do. I lead my life the way I would think best. I have never put myself the priority. I've always thought 1st for other people before me. I've never paid attention if I was ever going to lose out. All I cared was for them, their feelings. My friends. People pisses you off and you try to shut them off but sometimes you just can't help it because its just their own mouth? More likely, its just who they are? Really.
I don't have to break any social relationships. Frankly, I have no time. Everyone in the world has friends they can talk/share/speak to. But what is really important is that, friends come and go but TRUE FRIENDS stay. I have felt alone. I have felt not being alone. And to think jealousy is always the starting point of me actually trying to infuse and blow out someone's flame, then that is JUST too much. Human beings, okay be specific, teenagers, are matured young beings who can stand up for their rights and decipher between the right and the wrong. I've never, or at least, tried to push anyone from making their own decisions.
I've been through too much. I'm responsible for whatever I have been doing/living as a human being. I try not to sigh and retaliate to words that are never true about me, criticism and ignorance that are far from the truth. Sorry but you have to accept this change.
And I apologise if this post grumbles any of you. Enough of me respecting others all the time and avoiding what I shouldn't have been all this while.
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